Dear TruGreen ChemLawn (nice name, btw – “hey kids go roll in the grass that the ChemLawn people took care of!”) 

Two years ago you offered to get rid of the grubs in our lawn – it was a nice gesture.  Well, we paid you… so it wasn’t that nice.  Even less nice is that the grubs seemed to thrive on whatever you sprayed on them – so thanks for that too.  We ended up using Scott’s GrubEx to really get rid of them.

Anyway, back to why I’m writing this.  You keep calling us.  We keep telling you to leave us alone and never call again, but you insist.  You also canvas our front door with your propaganda and offers for further service.  WE DO NOT WANT ANY MORE OF YOUR “HELP”, THANKS.   NOW LEAVE US ALONE.

To top things off, I’m sitting here working today and I look out of my window onto my porch and what do I see?

That’s right, in addition to the litter you placed on my door Monday you also deemed it neccessary to leave your papers on my porch.  Stop littering on my property!