The Johnson Blog

Ramblings of a geek with a few hobbies…

Tag: Humor

  • David vs. the IRS

    We waited much longer to file our taxes this year because the good ol’ State of Illinois took nearly forever to get a social security number provisioned to David.  They must have a room full of monkeys banging out SSNs until they find an unused one… (psst…. Illinois… if you used an INFINITE number of monkeys, like the theorem states, it might go faster.  Or a computer.  You pick.)

    The day we received David’s Social Security Card in the mail, I filed our taxes with him proudly listed as a dependent.  The IRS rejected it.  I surmised that either A) the room full of monkeys messed up or B) the glorious State of Illinois didn’t have their act together in time to get David’s brand new (or recycled) SSN transmitted to the Feds.  So we got a reduced tax return and waited for an official rejection letter.

    Got that letter today, called in and got it straightened out.  Yeah, a pretty uneventful end to the story.   Sorry.

  • Walgreens or CVS

    The current poll Which do you prefer – Walgreens or CVS is getting an interesting result, yet one that I suspected.  9 votes so far for Walgreens and 0 for CVS.

    I cannot explain it but I just don’t like CVS.  Taken at face value, the stores are identical.  They have red lettering, similar store size, and God knows they’re always within 100 feet of each other. Yet when faced with the choice, I choose Walgreens time and time again.

    So I ask, what is so much better with Walgreens?

    After spending a few minutes thinking about it (yeah, I can’t believe I actually sat here trying to quantify this), I have come up with the following:

    • Walgreens has cursive writing – it has a warmer/friendlier feel to it (?)
    • CVS has the big ugly hard block lettering.
    • The CVSi (the “i” is for plural folks… come on..) I have been in recently have horrible doors.  They feel narrow and constricting.
    • In CVS, the isles are really crammed together.
    • Every Walgreens in the universe has the same floorplan. (does CVS do this? I don’t know, I hate CVS remember?)
    • Oooh!  And who can forget the Walgreens brand products:   Wal-tussin anyone?

    Any other ideas as to why Walgreens is superior to CVS?

  • Dwight, meet Edward

    Dwight Shrewt meet Edward McConaughey

    Now, before you think being at home has already made me go crazy – please note that my plant has been named Edward McConaughey for about 2 years now.  What’s amazing is not that Edward is related to the infamous Matthew, but that I’ve kept a plant alive for 2 years!

  • This is what happens

    Every now and again, when I’m done changing David’s diaper, he ends up looking like… this!

    I know, I know… terrible. 🙂

  • No Waste

    I generated this today, and ended up not needing it.  In the spirit of conservation, I’ll put it here so it doesn’t go to waste.

    8122289b-cabb-4799-9f46-614ae9a56402

  • Justin’s a Gamer

    Last week, Justin Long proclaimed his desire to be a gamer. So he ordered a new PC and it arrived early this week. It’s kinda hard to be a gamer when all you have at your disposal is Minesweeper and Solitaire, so he had to order Myst IV and Battlefield 2 (to join us in games).  Well, Myst arrived yesterday and he spent the rest of the day playing it.  The guy who says he’s usually in bed by 10 was up until 1 this morning and had no recollection of time passing.

    We’re not too sure if this is better than his last great pasttime: Beer drinking at Spammy’s.  I’ll keep you posted.

  • MedievalMoto

    Picture this.

    You fire up your game console of choice and in no time you are driving a motorcycle (actually any motororized vehicle) in medieval times!

    • MotoJoust
    • MoatCross
    • MotoSeige (attack and overtake the castle)
    • Princess Run (mad race through the castle, up to the princess in the tower)
    • Cannon Dodge (avoid getting hit by the barrage of cannon balls)
    • More to come!

    Doesn’t that sound like a blast? It would fly off the shelves, I mean who doesn’t want to race through the woods on a bike and knock an opponent off their bike with the jousting stick?!?!

    You know you want it.   If I get enough pre-orders I’ll start development.

  • Circuit City

    This morning I tried to go to CircuitCity.com, but found they must open their website late on Sundays 🙂

    CCclosed.png

    CCclosed2.png

  • Just a question

    newt1.azface.pool.jpg

    This photo was taken from CNNs front page, presumably from a press conference announching that Al-Zarqawi. What I wonder is, where did they get a frame on such short notice.. and more importantly, why did they think a frame was needed??

  • Mark your calendars

    In the spirit of the oranges, I’d like to report that this week I have eaten 4 apples!  Two more remain on my desk for today and tomorrow.  I think this breaks a 10 year apple hiatus.  Amazing.

    In related news, I also ate a serving of oatmeal this morning at my desk.  That’s probably a 12-15 year record.  Hopefully I won’t be so hungry later this morning.